29 Years and 24 Months Years Old

I was typing yesterday and I suddenly got a glimpse of my fingers typing; well not exactly my fingers, but the skin on the fingers that cover the same bones they covered 31 years. The skin was different. This was NOT my skin. There seemed to be three alphabetical letters that were stamped on every single cell of this alien skin. A. G. E. I stopped typing and examined this alien hand and realised that I did not recognise these fine lines, the extra creases on the knuckles, the slightly darkening skin where the bones bend and straighten… Who’s hands were these?!

But there was absolutely no point – whatsoever – feeling the slightest disturbed by this. “This”, what ever this was, be it nature, the way of life, the meanness of the world, whatever, but THIS, happened to everyone. But this is how I spent my birthday this year. I spent it looking at the little lines and wondered if God added a little one there for every joy, every heart ache, every dream achieved and each one broken… every line telling a story about life as we grow to know it.

The white hairs that have multiplied ridiculously over the last few months don’t disturb me. On the contrary, actually, I am very fond of them. So much so that I brush my hair in a way that they are more visible. They match the new “Professor Persona” that I’ve downloaded as part of a new theme to my life (lol). But these little lines… my hand – I cannot seem to forgive age for this cruelty.

But it’s because I haven’t linked the lines appearing on my hands as I have the white sprouting among the black in on my head. It’s all a visual exercise. The power of the mind over the body. Something I must learn to do as well I have learnt to look in the mirror and think “Ah, not THAT fat”. No, I’m just joking. But I do want to look at my hands and be proud. I want to look at them and think that these lines are a mark of honour for the kindness that they extend, the hard work they have dedicated to the world, the times little fingers wrapped around mine. Just like the manual laborers are proud of the calluses on their palms for the honest bread it brings their family, so may the fine lines become river banks where good can be written.

What is age, but a number of years and months… and a few white hairs.

My Birthday’s Resolutions

This year, starting the 3rd May 2011, I have a new set of New Years Resolutions. I am going to record them here so that I can look back (if I’m alive) on 3rd May 2012 and see how well I have done to keep them.

  • Look through all my past new years resolutions and make absolutely sure that I do not include a single one of them as a resolution again.
  • I will create a list of things I will NOT do this year. These include:
  •                                I will NOT try to lose weight this year
  •                                I will NOT try to EVER go to the gym – not ONCE
  •                                I will NOT force myself to like raw tomatoes
  •                                I will NOT try and fix the lives of everyone who comes to me with the pieces
  • I will re embrace my semi vegetarian state – no animals that are out of the sea
  • I will block every single boy/girl who only contact me only for stuff they want
  • I will complete my year of field work with Street Kids in Cairo
  • I will give every ounce of effort to support the new Democratic Workers Party in Egypt
  • I will learn to say NO to people I love
  • I will learn to say the word “exactly” correctly and will learn to say the word “chivalry” as one word, not three
  • I will let go of memories that hurt me – emotionally and through memorabilia
  • I will let go of people who have continuously bought me down to the pits of hell with their own decay
  • I will publish at least one paper in an international journal on childhood
  • I will surround myself with more children than adults
  • I will accept, at last, the way I am with absolutely no need for change
  • I will treat everyone I meet as if they will die tomorrow
  • I will at some point when I’m settled geographically, get a pet
  • I will start learning something that enhances my creativity (pottery, calligraphy or photography)
  • I will eat more pop corn and less mushrooms (for no particular reason)
  • I will make sure that the people I love know this, not by words but by deeds…